What exactly is a trauma? How do they affect us? How do we heal from our traumas? The DSM-IV tends to have one believe that a trauma is limited to childhood abuse, the loss of a loved one, or gruesome experiences in combat, but Freud insisted that everyone is traumatized simply by the process of being born, and based the much of his studies on repression on this idea. I lean more towards Freud's perspective, and feel that we all have been traumatized at one point in our lives. What matters most in determining how these injuries will cripple us depends on the amount of love and nurturing we are given throughout the era of such experiences. For some a lack of such love itself is enough to be trauma, trapping one in a lifetime of inadequacy or dim self-esteem.
There is also great debate on how to heal these wounds - wounds that for some are too sensitive to even be acknowledged, nevertheless treated. I have my own theories, though they are probably not new ones. One of them is that a victim will remain a victim until there is vengeance, if not direct, then at least some kind of non-destructive catharsis in which we transcend the force or forces which bind us, we confront the ghosts that haunt us, head on, and this is a necessary initial step to the process of repair.
But before that, comes the second step and that is the step of empathy and understanding. If, for example, we have been beaten or molested as children, psychologically even, or have been stolen from, we must learn the motives behind our perpetrators, understand the great chain of cause and effect that exists in the grand chronological interpersonal scheme between us all. People are not evil, or in other words, individuals do not have a primary desire to hurt others, barring the few psychopathic exceptions. Rather, all people are products of there environments, and the desire to hurt others is a secondary effect of a primary cause, which is to cope, in destructive ways.This step is critical, lest we become perpetrators ourselves, and continue to live out the follies of our misfortunes into the misfortunes of others.
We must re-experience hell, so to speak, but with a critical and open mind, so to relive these things without the guilt of naivety. Then, once we have done this truly difficult and painful task, will we be able to move on. Once this painful page has been read, we can close the old book and begin our lives on the blank pages of a new one, and while we will carry the thorn of wisdom and chronic confrontation buried deep in our being, the victory is anything but Pyrrhic, as this ailment is is much less painful than the thorn of guilt and ignorance. Lastly then when are finally able to tread forward we will do so truly on new ground, not on the trodden comforts of the past, which are, more often than not, lies and projections, illusory, ultimately hindrances. This new chapter will be an era of freedom, and as we live its meta-narrative, we can learn, we can empathize, and we can even find solace and security, and control to some degree what is written.
01) Swans - Jane Mary, Cry One Tear
02) Backworld - Season of Sacrifice
03) Waylon Jennings - Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way?
04) Sorrow - Emptyness
05) Conspiracy of Silence - Innocent
06) Warren Zevon - Sentimental Hygiene
07) Black Hearted Brother - Got Your Love
08) Martha + The Muffins - Rhythm of Life
09) David Wise - Aquatic Ambiance
10) Sea Stories - Laughing Boy
11) Brian - Right Through Tuesday
12) Gayna Rose Madder - Ties
13) In Embrace - This Brilliant Evening
14) Nunzio Fattini - Floor
15) Amor De Dias - Jean's Waving
16) The Apartments - On Every Corner
17) John Cunningham - Spit and Polish
18) Spell - Free Now to Roam
19) Akira Yamaoka - Promise Reprise
20) Sun Kil Moon + Jimmy Lavelle - By the Time That I Awoke
21) The Radio Dept. - Closing Scene
22) Pure Bathing Culture - Scotty
23) Lil Ugly Mane - Last Breath (Outroduction)
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